Existential Crisis

Kiddo {throwing all noise, no bitterness tantrum}: I am having an existential crisis.

I couldn't help myself but wonder... How do you spell it? She is talking about things I didn't know existed until recent times.


Picture Courtesy: knowyourmeme.com

3 Steps to Spontaneity

He: Need to add some spontaneity into my life. If I start in a burst, it would seem that I have gone bonkers, also may not sustain. But I can start with some small changes, and be progressive.
He {I guess he heard himself speak}: How hopelessly me! Planning meticulously to be spontaneous!!

Yeah Babe! Try placing sticky notes in strategic locations. Adding calendar events too help.

My Swadhisthana & Manipura chakras just drowned itself into my Muladhara.


Picture Courtesy: www.psychologytoday.com

Right amount of information??

Last morning, I had visited my young friend (a 17yr old girl) who had lost her father that day. She was running around doing what has to be done within the house. At the very first private opportunity, she asks me... Her eyes filled with all the questions in the world..... 

"What does this mean aunty? Are we going to be poor? Do we have to move out of this house?" 

It has been a day since this question. All I still remember is her eyes - the doubts, the questions, the insecurities... 

That made me think.... When do our children stop being too small to be part of household finances? I remember going to banks & encashing cheques, getting Demand Drafts, etc all by myself. By the time I was in college, I had a clear idea about the expenses. (Yeah! Mom carefully hid the income but not the expenses from me.) 

What sort of evil are we saving the children from? How much is the right information for what age? 

5yrs back, I had sat down with Kiddo & went through her income & expenses. Maybe it is time for me to sit down with her about my income & expenses. 

Picture Courtesy: www.incharge.org

Age is not the limit

They : Awww... But your child is so small, you don't have to worry about these things for a long time to come. 

The moment someone says this, I have a flash back. 

Year - 2012 

That was when the song ‘Why this Kolaveri Di?’ Was released. This was also the year Sonu Nigam’s son did a baby version of this song. This was also the year that Kiddo was 6 yrs old - A small child. 

I was showing her the baby version of the song when she asked me, what is so special about this boy. I got excited & started off with Sonu Nigam. I was showing a few songs of Sonu Nigam. One among them was - In Lamhe Ke Daman Mein from Jodhaa Akbar. 

Few minutes into the song & Kiddo’s sweet, innocent, childish voice went…. Amma…. I feel something in my tummy. 

And you still believe that age has got something to do with these emotions????????  

Rosappoo it is!!

How much ever Big B tried, I am unable to adopt a third party view of things AND give conclusions to my blog. I don't have any conclusions as of now. These are all mere experiences for me. All I have is a bunch of questions. At this point, I do not have any answers to any of these questions. So... I am leaving it as is - just questions. If I come across any answers or conclusions, I will make another blog post ;-)

For now... These are my experiences with my dear Rosa, as she sails through her adolescent years. My Rosapoo Charithams. 

Somebody gonna get hurt real bad

She was a random girl who was seated next to me in bus. Her phone rings. She answers it. After a few seconds of silence, she started… 

How she had to wake up early. 

How she had to wake up early to cook. 

Carry two dabbas - making the already heavy bag heavier. 

All this while she had to reach office before 10.

She also add a note to the person on the other side to be responsible and keep her informed if they are planning to have late breakfast and skip the lunch!! 

From the tone & the way the conversation is going... The person on the other end has to be a guy…😂

How do I know it? I have done this! I got to do this last week too, when my brothers bailed out on me after I was done with my cooking. 

PS. 

In my defence, I was not purposely overhearing. I had my headphones & music on. I could hear her music over the ones played in the phone. 

Strict Environment

Me {tumultuous} : Many people thought that my post was about Kiddo. What unsettles me is that... That people think that she is safe because she is in a strict environment. Pft!!

Dakshayini {with all the calmness she has}: Yes! Look at you!! Grew up in a strict environment. Yet you managed to do all you wanted to do!! 

Well... At least she helped me nail what was bugging me. Being strict or isolation (from anything of child's interest) is not going to guarantee that the child is actually going to do things your way. 

When your little girl is no longer a girl

Though we celebrate our children's birthday, we seldom realise how fast they are growing. Even when you have those fancy numbered candles on their bday cakes, how many of us understand that our children are growing up. One of those rare instances we realise that they are growing is when they argue with us. 

So one fine morning she comes to you and say, 'Amma... I am having sex.' And you wonder whether sex is a new flavour of chips by Kurkure! 

Recently I was a witness to such a situation. I have been going through a myriad of emotion since then.... 

I have been a 15yr old once 

I am still a rebel 

I am a parent 

I too have a daughter who would soon turn 15 

Should I be a snitch? 

As I was battling these emotions, Dakshayini puts her hand around me & whispers into my ears..... My dear... If anyone, not just your own child, tells you that he/she is sexually active, you should be asking these questions.... 

1. Do you know how to protect yourself?
2. Are you using protection?
3. Do you want my help in procuring condoms? 
4. Where & how are you buying condoms? 

PS. 

Bro... Thanks for inspiring me to write again... 🙂 

#ParentingIndia

PC - www.everydayfamily.com

Introducing Dakshayini

Introducing Dakshayini is going to be difficult for me. But I am confident that you will see traces of yourself in her. I have my BigB to thank for introducing her to me. I trust she will take you on a whirlwind journey..... 🙂












PC - whisper.sh

Duh?

He {About an incident in 2009}: Loved when you took the curves in gear. You were the only Daredevil I knew from the ladies clan who did that.
Me : Dainx!

But then.... What the heck is taking curves in gear????

Sweet Natured Aussies

She {a statement to self than a question}: Australians are such sweet-natured people?
Me {Knowing where this comes from}: How many Australians do you know?
She {Sheepish}: Simon Baker & Chris Hemsworth

That girl is smitten I say!!!


#BingeWatchingTheMentalist
Picture Courtesy : www.neatorama.com

Poopy

Kiddo : Amma, will you be able to keep Poopy with you? 

Me {shell shocked}: ????

Kiddo {answering my shocked look}: The bed is not big enough for the two us. Every night, either Poopy or I fall off the bed at night. 

Me {Pure evil look coz I had to put up with it for 12yrs}: And what do you do when that happens? 

Kiddo {as innocent & honest as she could be}: If I fall down, I just continue sleeping there. Only when it gets too cold in the morning do I get up & slip into the blanket. If Poopy falls down, I pick up immediately. 

I resign!!!! Sigh! 

See through the Packaging....

He : Do you want porn? To keep you engaged?

I guess, any one outside the system would have seen it differently. But.... I could only see his unadulterated care for me.

He knows what kind of a person I am. He understands that I have reached my threshold. He understands my next stop is frenzy. He wants me to hang in there. And he has no clue how or what will make me. And this is what he came up with.

:-)
I see it... You know it... Bhadd mein jaye rest of the world
Thank you... :-)


Picture Courtesy : me.me

Growing up.....

Kiddo {completely shattered aka her high pitched voice}: Now I cannot become a boy. 

Kiddo {while I was trying to frame 'that didn't stop me from being a boy'}: Do transgenders get their periods? If yes, then I can be a transgender. 

Yes!! That too is a possibility. A very good option infact. When I was growing up, I had only two options - boy or girl. I am really glad that you have a broader spectrum to pick from. 

And yes!! I will be in front of you fighting off all those __ who tells you otherwise. 

Picture Courtesy : www.sagechildcare.edu.au

Winter is here....

Winter has always been a time of ailment for me & for people around me. Living in Bangalore hasn't helped us either - Allergy, Breathing issues, Body pain & the list goes on. This has inspired me to jot down things I have observed & learned over time. 

Disclaimer : 

If you have any health issues, please consult your doctor before you realign yourself. 

Read up on MahaBhutas & their Gunas & Tri Doshas for deeper understanding on the whys

Anything in moderation is advised. Remember.... Amitham aayal Amruthum visham! 

Diet 

This is the time when our digestive power is enhanced because of the external cold. We have learned in our school that during winter, we burn more energy to generate more heat to combat the external temperature. This internal heat increases the digestive power. Why is it so exciting to me? Increased digestive power enables our body to digest any food irrespective of their heaviness & quantity ingested. Yipz!! I now have a convincing excuse 😉 

Kapha (Earth & water elements) are high during winter. This is the best time to build good health & strength. As the digestive power is high, it is advisable to consume heavy food. This is one time of the year when larger quantity is also advised. If we do not consume heavy food, the body is unable to produce raw materials required for cell repair. More good news to Foodie like me. 

If we do not feed this digestive fire, it will affect our body. This will cause Vatta (Air & Ether elements) to be aggravated. Increase in Vatta will affect digestion. Imbalance in Vatta will also bring in pains & ailments around your joints & muscles.  

Dos 

Oils, Ghee, Sour & salty food. 

Meat, Fish, Crab, etc

Soups

Milk & milk products 

Sugarcane & it's products

Jaggery 

Food rich in Vitamin D - Cod liver oil, egg, mushroom, etc 

Eating warm 

Drinking room temperature, warm or hot beverages 

If tea, boil with ginger, cinnamon & cloves 

A cup of hot milk spiced with a pinch of turmeric, dried ginger or nutmeg before bed 

Nuts & seeds 

DO NOTs 

Raw diet 

Fasting - If you look into our traditions, this will be the time with least fasting. 

Cold food 

Foods with pungent & astringent tastes. Basically, anything that aggravates Vatta would fall under this category. 

Cool drinks, Aerated drinks 

Light & easy to digest foods 

Massage & Bath 

Oil massages keeps the skin lubricated & healthy. 

Why is there so much emphasis on the health of the skin? 

First line of defense to common allergens 

Helps with occasional inflammation 

How does massage help? 

Promotes immunity & ojas 

Improves blood circulation 

Relaxes muscles 

Lowers stress 

Increases longevity 

Strengthens the body's tolerance 

Imparts firmness to limbs 

Abhyanga

Abhyanga used to be an integral part of daily routine. Now, for busy people like us, all we have to do is walk into the nearest ayurvedic center & they will do the rest. It is generally an hour long procedure. They massage our body from head to toe with warm oil. Oil massage is followed by steam therapy. Doing this once a month keeps your body supple & healthy. 

If not as elaborate as Abhyanga, simpler form of oil massages can be done daily at home. Following it up with a nice hot water bath will help you maintain your health quotient. 

Regular head massage with during this season will avoid dry scalp, dandruff, hair fall, headaches, etc 

Lifestyle 

Maintaining a predictable routine will help keep Vatta in balance during winter. To maintain the Kapha balance, there should be a bit of unpredictability too. This may sound counterintuitive. Routines like sleep & wake up cycle, food, work, exercise, all this time can be kept predictable. But one may experiment with specifics like, what workout routine to follow, What food to consume, etc. This would help one achieve balance. 

Asanas or other physical exercises

This is the time to try out high intensity practices. If you having been walking all this while, now would be a good time to start jogging. Join that zumba classes you have been putting off all this while. Exercises will also bring down your Kapha. 

When it comes asanas, go for kidney toning asanas - Ardha Matsyendra, Chakrasana, Navasana, Setu Bandha, Marichyasana, Shashankasana, Supta Vajrasana, etc 

Surya Namaskara - Well... Towards the end of winter, we come across Radhasaptami, a time when people do 108 Surya namaskars. Consider winter as your training towards this 108. 

Pranayama 

Here again go for heating pranayamas - Kapalbatti, Bhastrika, Surya anulom vilom

If you are advanced practices - AgnisaraKriya, Udiyana Bandha, Nauli 

Cleansing Practices 

Jala Neti 

Nasya 

Mudras 

Maha mudra 

Linga mudra 

I do....

Me {irritated while trying to prove that my horse is bigger than his}: Why don't you let me have it once in a while? 

He : I do. 

Two simple words. But... But.... 

Yes dear... I know that you do... But I have no explanations to why I do what I do when it comes to you. 

Sashtanga namaskaaram....... 

Picture Courtesy : kamalkaur.net

Art of Gifting

He : Oooh! All you need to do is ask your foreign contacts & they will be more than happy to gift it for you. 

Me : Aaah! That is one problem I have. I am not comfortable with expensive gifts. I am perfect with hand-me-downs, even stuffs they have been using for ages. I am okay with those. But... anything costing more than Rs.1000.....Something doesn't just go well with me. 

He {The look}: 

Me {rolling my eyes now}: Okay! Fine! Including conversion rates... 2000 Indian monies. 

He {now exasperated}: Whats your problem Girl??? If someone is willing to spend, you just smile & accept it! 

This conversation transpired last night. In the morning, when I opened the book to read, this is what I bumped into!!! 

dātavyam iti yad dānaṁ dīyate ‘nupakāriṇe

deśhe kāle cha pātre cha tad dānaṁ sāttvikaṁ smṛitam (Bhagavad Gita 17:20) 

Charity which is given without consideration of anything in return, at a sanctified and holy place and at an astrologically auspicious time, given as a matter of duty to one qualified, given to a worthy person simply because it is right to give, that charity is regarded as of the nature of goodness. 

So... If the person gifting can convince me on these points. Yes! I have my hands stretched out, palms open to receive & head bowed down with gratitude. But.... If it falls under any one of the other two categories....... Thihahahahahahahahahaha 

yat tu pratyupakārārthaṁ phalam uddiśhya vā punaḥ

dīyate cha parikliṣhṭaṁ tad dānaṁ rājasaṁ smṛitam (Bhagavad Gita  17:21) 

Charity which is given with expectation of some return or desiring some result, with the hope of a return or in expectation of a reward, moreover with reluctance is understood as of the nature of passion. 

adeśha-kāle yad dānam apātrebhyaśh cha dīyate

asat-kṛitam avajñātaṁ tat tāmasam udāhṛitam (Bhagavad Gita  17:22) 

That charity which is given disrespectfully and scornfully at an inappropriate place and time, to one who is unworthy is described as the nature or nescience. 

Picture Courtesy : www.huffingtonpost.com

Tinderland!!!

Me {full on irritation & sarcasm}: 19hrs with 8hrs of sleep & I am already bored with it.
He {mixed emotion}: What? Didn't find any interesting men from whole community of tinder men?
He {when I didn't even bother to respond to that question}: That is a huge spat on the whole of Indian male community.
Me {all smug}: Remember what Pooja Mathew tells Yardley!!

Reset

Picture Courtesy : www.endlessicons.com

Sing

He {To me!!} : Can you please sing a song for us?
Followed by an awkward silence where we are all dumbstruck & looking at each other & panicking...
Us {Literally ROFL} : Now we know how drunk he is!

I am still laughing..... :-)












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