Existential Crisis

Kiddo {throwing all noise, no bitterness tantrum}: I am having an existential crisis.

I couldn't help myself but wonder... How do you spell it? She is talking about things I didn't know existed until recent times.


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Right amount of information??

Last morning, I had visited my young friend (a 17yr old girl) who had lost her father that day. She was running around doing what has to be done within the house. At the very first private opportunity, she asks me... Her eyes filled with all the questions in the world..... 

"What does this mean aunty? Are we going to be poor? Do we have to move out of this house?" 

It has been a day since this question. All I still remember is her eyes - the doubts, the questions, the insecurities... 

That made me think.... When do our children stop being too small to be part of household finances? I remember going to banks & encashing cheques, getting Demand Drafts, etc all by myself. By the time I was in college, I had a clear idea about the expenses. (Yeah! Mom carefully hid the income but not the expenses from me.) 

What sort of evil are we saving the children from? How much is the right information for what age? 

5yrs back, I had sat down with Kiddo & went through her income & expenses. Maybe it is time for me to sit down with her about my income & expenses. 

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Poopy

Kiddo : Amma, will you be able to keep Poopy with you? 

Me {shell shocked}: ????

Kiddo {answering my shocked look}: The bed is not big enough for the two us. Every night, either Poopy or I fall off the bed at night. 

Me {Pure evil look coz I had to put up with it for 12yrs}: And what do you do when that happens? 

Kiddo {as innocent & honest as she could be}: If I fall down, I just continue sleeping there. Only when it gets too cold in the morning do I get up & slip into the blanket. If Poopy falls down, I pick up immediately. 

I resign!!!! Sigh! 

Growing up.....

Kiddo {completely shattered aka her high pitched voice}: Now I cannot become a boy. 

Kiddo {while I was trying to frame 'that didn't stop me from being a boy'}: Do transgenders get their periods? If yes, then I can be a transgender. 

Yes!! That too is a possibility. A very good option infact. When I was growing up, I had only two options - boy or girl. I am really glad that you have a broader spectrum to pick from. 

And yes!! I will be in front of you fighting off all those __ who tells you otherwise. 

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Reset

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Those little things....

Kiddo {while listening to one of our dance songs}: Amma...... Can you dance to that now?
Me {eyes literally popping out of my sockets}: But... I do not remember the steps. We learned this long long ago, right?
Kiddo {shrugging}: Its okay. Even I don't remember no.

Our dance teacher would have hung herself if she had watched us that night. But we enjoyed it thoroughly... :-)










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Set this in Stone

Kiddo {to her God mother during her vacation}: I will miss Amma. I need her scoldings.

For some strange reasons...................................




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How did you?

She {wide eyed & excited}: Wow! Kiddo got into Isha Home School?
Me {enjoying that sparkle in her eyes}: You are the first person outside the yoga community to know Isha. You have no idea how relieved I am.
She {her excitement rising a note higher}: How did you get through?
Me {now confused with that question}: Err.... I applied, she cleared the assessment, she is now in.
She {continuing with her excitement}: That is a great school. There are people I know who have been trying & couldn't get through. Isn't it very difficult to get through? How did you manage to get it done?
{And it went on for some more time..... }

Her excitement made me realize... There is a plan. The other day, I was complaining, when will things start falling into my lap. At this moment, I was rather thankful for the so-called challenges I had to tackle while I was pursuing this for Kiddo. I can now see how insignificant they were. That was my Karma. But... The universe does have a plan for her......... Prayers.

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108

Me : Should we give it a try? Lets not worry about the final count, just give it a try. Like this was an experiement?? Should we?
Kid1 : Okay
Kid 2 & 3 too agreed.

It was the day after Rathasapthami. I was leading an asana session for children. This conversation happened while I was explaining the significance of Rathasaptami. We just decided to give a try at 108 Surya Namaskar. Just a trial... A personal enquiry. The kids were never trained to do a 108. The aim was not to complete 108 rounds, but to look inside and find out.... How far we can go, Are we bound by our own limitations etc.

The result??? Ooooo... One completed 108, One came close to 90 and the other around 70. The smile on their faces... Extremely humbling experience :-)

Their happiness did inspire me to participate in the 108 conducted in our community. This wouldn't be the first time I am doing a 108. I know that I can still do it. I was not planning to spend time on something I already knew. But the smile on the children's face did inspire me to pick my mat & walk to the ground.

Kiddo too had promised to join me. When she picked her yoga mat, I had mentally prepared myself to listen to her wailing around 20th round. Well... She did surprise me by completing 108 without any complain. Okkay... According to her... 107.5. In her defense, she was tired towards the end. I had asked her to sit down until she is ready to continue. She did initially sit down, but the crowd's energy made her jump up & continue. So.... she completed her 107.5 & I my 108. This is to our first 108 :-)

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:-)

:-) 

:-) 

:-) 

:-) 

Answers...

Me {puzzled... staring into the phone}: What has happened to him? 

Kiddo {in a matter of fact tone}: Ooh! He is bored. He has nothing to do - No TV, No Phone, No Nothing. So he is really bored. 

Now that explains a lot of things. 

Note to self : 

Surrender... with gratitude.... 

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Injection!!

Kiddo {during her bed time chit-chit} : Amma.... Is there an injection to have a baby?

I was going through a myriad of emotion when I heard this. The innocence in her voice did bring a smile on my face. But... I knew where this was coming from... So wasn't sure which direction to take things to. After great effort, I keep my tone neutral and ask...

Me : Why do you need an injection for that?
Kiddo {retreating...} : Nothing...
Me {probing further though I know the answer} : Is it because you don't want to get married?
Kiddo : Yes!! I do not want to get married.
Me : Why?
Kiddo : Because then all I will be doing is cooking & cleaning.

I was left wondering... Are we in the wrong country? Or were we just born into the wrong state in this country?

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Clever

Kiddo {Thoroughly impressed} : Amma... You are too clever for your age!

I am going to take a print of this statement, frame & hang it in my room!!!












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Help will always be given to those who ask for it

Kiddo : Can I have.....
Me {losing it even before she could complete her line}: Can I have, Can I have, Can I have. How many can I haves have you said in the last 10mins? 3 can i haves? Instead of adding more to my task list, have you ever thought of how you can help me? Have you ever thought of asking me, How you can be of help to me? All you are interested in is 'Can I have'. When are you going to understand the concept of Can I give???????

Yes... It was a frustrated me bursting out. But... I was pretty much impressed with the outcome. Soon after this outburst, Kiddo watches me struggling to get things done. She walks up to me & asks...

"How can I be of help to you?"

Thanks to that outburst, Kiddo has been extremely accommodative these past few days. I wouldn't have pulled through if she wasn't there to support me.

Thank you dear... Mmmmuah!

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Appreciation

Kiddo {twinkle in her eyes}: Nice design you have Amma. You have place for everything.
Me : ????

Ooooooh! That was supposed to be a compliment.
Thank you dear.... :-)






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Genetic

Kiddo {excited while watching a Disney movie}: Lets go to Disney Land in our sleep. We will go to Disney Land tonight. We would be holding hands & walking around in Disney Land. Lets hold our hands & sleep tonight & we'll goto Disney Land in our dream.

It was only 2 minutes earlier that her mom was talking about learning Zulu for communication!! Hence proved, this is genetic!!


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Perks!!

Finally some perks for having a daughter. Maybe the perks are because I have this particular daughter....

My mom finally has some empathy for me. For the first time in my life I saw her feel for me.

Aaah!!

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The Big J

Kiddo {Watching me write my assignments} : You are neater that I am.
Me {Smiles & proceeds with my work}
Kiddo {After a short pause... all the more frustrated} : Really! Your assignments are neater that mine!!!














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One Week Notice

I have one week... & I have been thinking the whole day... What would I want to do before I die....

One whole day & I still have nothing.

Is that a good thing????? 

Board Games!!!

Kiddo & Pahadi were doing 'Art & Craft' activity with shells. Now that she has a participating listener, Kiddo was chirping away to glory. The conclusion of their discussion????

"In Kerala, astrologers play board games with shells like this."!!!!

Pling is an understatement!!!




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