Unclean

He {amidst a serious discussion}: I do not think I want to have sex with you. I think you are unclean.
Me : What????
He : Yeah... I have lost interest in you. I believe you are unclean.
Me {Disconnecting from the original serious discussion & coming to the moment with full on sarcasm}: I do not remember asking you to have sex with me.
Me {After giving him a thorough scan}: What made you think that I would be interested in having sex with You?
He : Even if you are, I now cannot.

As Kuttan PP mentioned in Bangalore Days, I did introduce him to those few key words from each of the languages I know. He was last seen enquiring about the significance of bathing in the Ganges!!!!

My Dear Supreme Power!!!!!
7 billion people... Maybe 8...
I do not need any more interactions with ___ to know that men are like this. I can point out quite a few in 20km radius.
Now that you & I have come to a conclusion, can we move on?

Picture Courtesy : macobserver.com

Plans Impacted

Kiddo {walking out after passing the verdict}: Purple
Kiddo {breaking the long silence}: Your plans get messed up when you include me, isn't it?

If she hadn't worn that encouraging smile on her face, I wouldn't have know how to take this statement.

:-)











Picture Courtesy : www.pinterest.com/hihunnyy

Perks of visiting Temples!!!

Setting the background....

The rituals in temples differ based on the locality. The poojas & rituals in temples in Karnataka is way different from those in Kerala. As is I am not much into poojas & stuffs. To add to this, the temple priests complicate the matter by asking questions like - Gothram, Name of every single member of your family, etc etc!!! In Kerala, it is a simple process - Just give the name & birth star of the person. No need of Gothram, family members, or any other statistics.

Today, for a change, I decided to offer my prayers in form of some pooja. Yes! I didn't think of the lengthy questionnaire. I was focused on the flame & gongs in the temple.

These were the gyans I received after answering the third question.... The shorter version of the gyan...

Gyan 1
You are at a difficult age. Till 40-43 the kamam (lust) is high in a lady. Your body needs it, just like it needs food & air. Be adventurous, have fun... but.... let that fun remain within you... Enjoy it... But do not flash the details for the entire world to see.

Gyan 2
Your eyes reflect what is in your mind. For your daughter's sake... hide it all within you... but be happy & content from the outside... Allow her to grow up watching that happy face. That will give her the much needed stability in life.

Gyan 3
You have an infectious smile. Smile is very dangerous. It will bring in a lot of danger to you. Smile... but let that smile be for that 1 person you like very much... for the rest of the world... smile a little less.

I do not remember the rest of the stuffs he said.

Picture Courtesy : www.pinterest.com

A Twist in the Tale

The narrator started narrating a story....

There was this parish priest. He had immense faith in his Lord. The place where his monastery was situated was hit with heavy rains & the entire place was flooding up. {At this point, I started getting excited. I had figured out the moral of the story and I was going... Ayam the answer! Ayam the answer! Of course, he ignored me & continued with his story}. When it started flooding, he started praying to his Lord to save them. People came running to the priest & requested him to leave the monastery while he still had the chance. The priest politely refused & continued to pray.

As the water levels rose, the priest moved to places above the water levels. After some time, a few people came down in a boat & requested the priest to join them. He refused again. In a short while, the entire building was immersed in water and the priest had reached the top most floor of the building. This time, rescue came in form of helicopters. This time too he refused. Finally, the priest was drown to death.

The priest goes to Heaven. In Heaven, he meets God. The priest goes wild with God, "I have been your faithful servant & you did not save me.". To which the God responds, "You fool! It is not possible for me to personally come & tell you, I am God I have come to save you. Instead I entrust people to do my bidding. You being a fool refused to accept my help."

{At this point, I was over joyed. I drew up the correct conclusion. Yippeee...

But then the narrator continued with no change in tone.... }

Likewise, God is not going to come to you & say, "Lakshmi, this is where you have to go." Instead he has entrusted me with that job. I will provide for the rest of your life & your child's life. I will take care of you & your child for the rest of my life. Both of you will have a secure life even after I pass away.

I do not know what else would have been taken care off or how because I was running faster than light... in the opposite direction!!! As every one knows... light travels faster than sound!!!

Picture Courtesy : www.crank101.com