Existential Crisis

Kiddo {throwing all noise, no bitterness tantrum}: I am having an existential crisis.

I couldn't help myself but wonder... How do you spell it? She is talking about things I didn't know existed until recent times.


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3 Steps to Spontaneity

He: Need to add some spontaneity into my life. If I start in a burst, it would seem that I have gone bonkers, also may not sustain. But I can start with some small changes, and be progressive.
He {I guess he heard himself speak}: How hopelessly me! Planning meticulously to be spontaneous!!

Yeah Babe! Try placing sticky notes in strategic locations. Adding calendar events too help.

My Swadhisthana & Manipura chakras just drowned itself into my Muladhara.


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Right amount of information??

Last morning, I had visited my young friend (a 17yr old girl) who had lost her father that day. She was running around doing what has to be done within the house. At the very first private opportunity, she asks me... Her eyes filled with all the questions in the world..... 

"What does this mean aunty? Are we going to be poor? Do we have to move out of this house?" 

It has been a day since this question. All I still remember is her eyes - the doubts, the questions, the insecurities... 

That made me think.... When do our children stop being too small to be part of household finances? I remember going to banks & encashing cheques, getting Demand Drafts, etc all by myself. By the time I was in college, I had a clear idea about the expenses. (Yeah! Mom carefully hid the income but not the expenses from me.) 

What sort of evil are we saving the children from? How much is the right information for what age? 

5yrs back, I had sat down with Kiddo & went through her income & expenses. Maybe it is time for me to sit down with her about my income & expenses. 

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Somebody gonna get hurt real bad

She was a random girl who was seated next to me in bus. Her phone rings. She answers it. After a few seconds of silence, she started… 

How she had to wake up early. 

How she had to wake up early to cook. 

Carry two dabbas - making the already heavy bag heavier. 

All this while she had to reach office before 10.

She also add a note to the person on the other side to be responsible and keep her informed if they are planning to have late breakfast and skip the lunch!! 

From the tone & the way the conversation is going... The person on the other end has to be a guy…😂

How do I know it? I have done this! I got to do this last week too, when my brothers bailed out on me after I was done with my cooking. 

PS. 

In my defence, I was not purposely overhearing. I had my headphones & music on. I could hear her music over the ones played in the phone. 

Duh?

He {About an incident in 2009}: Loved when you took the curves in gear. You were the only Daredevil I knew from the ladies clan who did that.
Me : Dainx!

But then.... What the heck is taking curves in gear????

Sweet Natured Aussies

She {a statement to self than a question}: Australians are such sweet-natured people?
Me {Knowing where this comes from}: How many Australians do you know?
She {Sheepish}: Simon Baker & Chris Hemsworth

That girl is smitten I say!!!


#BingeWatchingTheMentalist
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Poopy

Kiddo : Amma, will you be able to keep Poopy with you? 

Me {shell shocked}: ????

Kiddo {answering my shocked look}: The bed is not big enough for the two us. Every night, either Poopy or I fall off the bed at night. 

Me {Pure evil look coz I had to put up with it for 12yrs}: And what do you do when that happens? 

Kiddo {as innocent & honest as she could be}: If I fall down, I just continue sleeping there. Only when it gets too cold in the morning do I get up & slip into the blanket. If Poopy falls down, I pick up immediately. 

I resign!!!! Sigh! 

See through the Packaging....

He : Do you want porn? To keep you engaged?

I guess, any one outside the system would have seen it differently. But.... I could only see his unadulterated care for me.

He knows what kind of a person I am. He understands that I have reached my threshold. He understands my next stop is frenzy. He wants me to hang in there. And he has no clue how or what will make me. And this is what he came up with.

:-)
I see it... You know it... Bhadd mein jaye rest of the world
Thank you... :-)


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Growing up.....

Kiddo {completely shattered aka her high pitched voice}: Now I cannot become a boy. 

Kiddo {while I was trying to frame 'that didn't stop me from being a boy'}: Do transgenders get their periods? If yes, then I can be a transgender. 

Yes!! That too is a possibility. A very good option infact. When I was growing up, I had only two options - boy or girl. I am really glad that you have a broader spectrum to pick from. 

And yes!! I will be in front of you fighting off all those __ who tells you otherwise. 

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I do....

Me {irritated while trying to prove that my horse is bigger than his}: Why don't you let me have it once in a while? 

He : I do. 

Two simple words. But... But.... 

Yes dear... I know that you do... But I have no explanations to why I do what I do when it comes to you. 

Sashtanga namaskaaram....... 

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Art of Gifting

He : Oooh! All you need to do is ask your foreign contacts & they will be more than happy to gift it for you. 

Me : Aaah! That is one problem I have. I am not comfortable with expensive gifts. I am perfect with hand-me-downs, even stuffs they have been using for ages. I am okay with those. But... anything costing more than Rs.1000.....Something doesn't just go well with me. 

He {The look}: 

Me {rolling my eyes now}: Okay! Fine! Including conversion rates... 2000 Indian monies. 

He {now exasperated}: Whats your problem Girl??? If someone is willing to spend, you just smile & accept it! 

This conversation transpired last night. In the morning, when I opened the book to read, this is what I bumped into!!! 

dātavyam iti yad dānaṁ dīyate ‘nupakāriṇe

deśhe kāle cha pātre cha tad dānaṁ sāttvikaṁ smṛitam (Bhagavad Gita 17:20) 

Charity which is given without consideration of anything in return, at a sanctified and holy place and at an astrologically auspicious time, given as a matter of duty to one qualified, given to a worthy person simply because it is right to give, that charity is regarded as of the nature of goodness. 

So... If the person gifting can convince me on these points. Yes! I have my hands stretched out, palms open to receive & head bowed down with gratitude. But.... If it falls under any one of the other two categories....... Thihahahahahahahahahaha 

yat tu pratyupakārārthaṁ phalam uddiśhya vā punaḥ

dīyate cha parikliṣhṭaṁ tad dānaṁ rājasaṁ smṛitam (Bhagavad Gita  17:21) 

Charity which is given with expectation of some return or desiring some result, with the hope of a return or in expectation of a reward, moreover with reluctance is understood as of the nature of passion. 

adeśha-kāle yad dānam apātrebhyaśh cha dīyate

asat-kṛitam avajñātaṁ tat tāmasam udāhṛitam (Bhagavad Gita  17:22) 

That charity which is given disrespectfully and scornfully at an inappropriate place and time, to one who is unworthy is described as the nature or nescience. 

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Tinderland!!!

Me {full on irritation & sarcasm}: 19hrs with 8hrs of sleep & I am already bored with it.
He {mixed emotion}: What? Didn't find any interesting men from whole community of tinder men?
He {when I didn't even bother to respond to that question}: That is a huge spat on the whole of Indian male community.
Me {all smug}: Remember what Pooja Mathew tells Yardley!!

Reset

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Sing

He {To me!!} : Can you please sing a song for us?
Followed by an awkward silence where we are all dumbstruck & looking at each other & panicking...
Us {Literally ROFL} : Now we know how drunk he is!

I am still laughing..... :-)












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Those little things....

Kiddo {while listening to one of our dance songs}: Amma...... Can you dance to that now?
Me {eyes literally popping out of my sockets}: But... I do not remember the steps. We learned this long long ago, right?
Kiddo {shrugging}: Its okay. Even I don't remember no.

Our dance teacher would have hung herself if she had watched us that night. But we enjoyed it thoroughly... :-)










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Bold & Centered

He : Was thinking only brave & centered  girl can do this.
Me {Relieved}: You used the right words dear.
Me {Going all smug after a brief pause}: And that is just the tip of the iceberg!



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Déjà vu

Once upon a time... Exactly 20yrs back... They did it all for me while I was drifting through the process.

Filling up the application

Posting them

Everything everything everything... 

If he hadn't dropped me at the examination center, I really am not sure whether I would have appeared for the exam. But then... I cleared the exam & I got into engineering. 

20yrs later... I went through a similar situation. This time the enlightened one took care of everything. He went out of the way to make things happen. And me... I was just doing stuffs because everything was delivered right into my lap!

Well... Thanks to his efforts........... Yeah! I cleared.... :-) 

When they say do your Karma, it is interesting to know how very little they need from us... :-) 

Thank you... :-) 

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Boudoir

She {confused} : But why?
Me : Because I knew I could handle it.









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Set this in Stone

Kiddo {to her God mother during her vacation}: I will miss Amma. I need her scoldings.

For some strange reasons...................................




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Condused!!

He : I am sick & tired of your shit.

Comes from the man who wouldn't even know where I live, or which office do I go to.

Yeah.... I am as confused as any one
who knows me.





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